I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
