brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
