i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
