It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
