On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
