we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
