You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
