I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I supernannyed him into submission
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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