you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
