Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize