I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
