The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
