your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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