Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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