I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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