I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The feeling are messing with the penis
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
