I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
