Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
