Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
