If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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