Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
