Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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