She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
you never un-have a 4some
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
