Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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