it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
its liver damage thursday
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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