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Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
