did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
