All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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