we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
