The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
