I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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