I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize