So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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