so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
