You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize