I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
