You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
