hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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