You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
