we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
No subtext here. People are naked.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
