my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
