ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
