The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
