You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
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