Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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