We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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