I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
