fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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