She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
