I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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