I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
