Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
