Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
