when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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