I don't think brook has ever known best
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
