So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
