im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
