umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I forget how to act sober
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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