saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
