yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
