I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
