If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Mom said you looked used
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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