Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i dont even know how to be here
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
