This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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