Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize