Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i think i have two assholes
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
