i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
