Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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