They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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